Penia-what?

"Peniaphobe!" "Excuse me?"
"You're a classic Peniaphobe"
"You're not that great in bed either."
"You better look the word up before you continue this conversation."

So I did. Unfortunately, my friend was right. I am a classic Peniaphobe and considering we were talking about all the odd, degrading, and occasionally illegal jobs I had taken my first two years living in New York. My parents, strict Southern Baptists had made me a promise before I left to attend NYU: "Go to that pit of Brimstone, and you'll get no support from us." They weren't kidding.

Since I had spent the better part of my young life in revival tents and at parochial school, coming to the big city felt like Daniel in the Den of the Lions, but I think the good Lord knew that I was pretty much phoning in my prayers at that point, and he wasn't about to lock the Lion's jaw. Suffice it to say the cost of living was a lot higher than I had previously experienced and it was mere moments before the seemingly huge bankroll I brought with me earned from a summer of working at Dairy Joe's (we didn't have Dairy Queens in Natchez) and babysitting money. Rather than slow down in my quest to discover how to live, and I mean really live, I decided to just do what I could to make enough money to keep the lights on.

I don't know how I became a Peniaphobe, but my classic fear of poverty has kept me working two jobs ever since I left home, I still maintain a crappy degrading retail job even though I make more money than my parents ever did combined at my day job. They've eventually come to terms with New York (although they refuse to visit). Still, I worry every day that I will wake up impoverished. It's not about money, it's about security.

When I was in college though, my path of employement was more colorful than it is now. I worked retail and took odd jobs, and some were more odd than others. Here's a list of jobs or tasks I was paid to perform between age 18 and 22. By the time I graduated, I was convinced I was able to do anything.

• Benneton, sales clerk
• Gap, sales clerk
• Bike Messenger
• Dog Walker
• House sitter
• courier for a bookie
• theater usher
• personal assistant
• guitar tech
• bartender
• cocktail waitress
• shooter girl
• bowling shoe rental clerk
• photo assistant
• chat line moderator (on the phone)
• Housekeeper
• Kinkos computer helper
• Fan Mail answerer
• Small parts assembly
• house painter
• Temp (reception, envelope stuffing, secretary)
• Closet Organization
• Cookie Delivery
• video store clerk
• Toy fair demo girl
• perfume spritzer girl in Bloomingdale's

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