A Modest Book Proposal

Dear Publisher:

This new year is in need of a project sufficient in scope to both celebrate the empty excesses of the past few decades and embrace the increasing isolation of the individual in the years to come. I propose the start of a series of novels -- five total -- after the completion of which the author will kill himself. The death should be an integral part of the press kit, possibly hyped more so than the theme and content of the five novels, tentatively titled "Novel One" though "Novel Five."

These books will be fragmented recollections of uncomfortable social gatherings, related through an unreliable narrator. There will be no plot. A recurring set of characters will travel the country both separated from and mocking their peers in what will be alternately a modern update of Poe's most private party in "The Masque Of The Red Death" and a cruel post modern interpretation of the 1980's film "The Big Chill." These characters -- think of the people from "Microserfs" -- will be exposed for the drained souls they truly are, made empty by a technology that promised only and grandly to bring them closer together. The message of utter aloneness in an increasingly interconnected society will be supported by the planned premature demise of the author, the centerpiece in a strong branding campaign for the entire project.

Suggested media tie-ins to include: film and radio exclusive broadcast rights to the highest bidder in each medium for the suicide; boxed set of the five novels packaged inside a giant pill container, or each novel separately packaged like drugstore medication. (In addition to traditional channel partners, alternative distribution should be actively solicited -- the cooperation of a national drugstore chain in an end-of-isle promotional display would be excellent.) On the project web site, Nick Drake should be referenced as inspiration; his self prophetic album "Five Leaves Left" cited as influencing the project title and scope. Allusions or references to Brett Easton Ellis in any PR material should be avoided, for obvious reasons.

Further to avoid diluting the project message the author will be contractually obligated to refrain from any talk show or other television interviews. Several radio interviews may be permitted along the project timeline, but most media information should come secondhand through a PR firm -- the author must remain outside the mainstream media in support of the theme of the project.

Certainly there is nothing new about suicide, but where this project diverts from the cliche of teen angst is in the thoroughness of execution -- we leave not one simple note but a whole collection of text in support of the act -- and the strength of the branding campaign. I look forward to hearing of your interest in the project, and with best wishes for the new year. I remain Sincerely,
G.A.C.

gregory@smug.com