DEJA VIEW

Well, I'm on my way to see the re-release of the sequel to the sequel to Star Wars. I started to see it last week, but the theater I was near didn't have THX sound. Normally that wouldn't be an issue with me, but seeing as how that's the whole point of movies being re-released ... I figured I better seek out a proper screen. That's really not fair. I couldn't have cared less if I saw Liar, Liar in THX sound. In fact sometimes when Jim Carrey goes on a screaming jag, I'd like to be able to turn the sound down a little bit. But with older movies, suddenly if I don't vibrate so hard I can hear my Goobers rattling in the box, I'm not satisfied.

As great as seeing Star Wars again is ... I still can't help but feel just a little silly rushing out to see a movie that came out in 1977 and has been available on video for years. How about we re-release Moll Flanders, promising never before seen footage and better sound? Would it do better than the first time? Same with Booty Call. I just get the feeling there were some scenes that were cut that, if restored, would fill in so many of the missing plot points.

Fact is, there were some scenes cut out of "Star Wars" that should have been cut out, such as the sand people having to stop and empty out their shoes. The jawas replacing those light bulbs they have for eyes. I wonder if they used 3-ways? There was that long argument between C3PO and R2-D2 over whose turn it was to shampoo Chewbacca. Darth Vader using those bars in front of his mouth to grate cheese. Then of course, there was the dreadful karaoke scene in the cantina. All unnecessary.

There's always been edited footage in the movies that a re-releasing could restore. Few people know that in the airport scene in Casablanca, as Bergman's plane is taxiing down the runway, it swerves to miss a cat and bogs down in the mud, reuniting the couple. In the movie, Smile, some scenes had to be cut because Robert Downey Jr. was stoned out on drugs. Oh wait, I'm sorry. Those are the scenes that were left in.

Of course, seeing the movies again on the big screen might help you pick out things you missed the first time around. Subtle things. "Ooohhhh, so the first Terminator was a bad robot. Okay, I see now." You might see scenes that you had just flat forgotten about. In fact, if I were to put out a new movie, I'd market it as a re-release of a wildly popular movie that no one can seem to remember. The lines to see it would be huge.

It's got to be really hard for the stars of these re-released movies too. These Star Wars guys had finally put it all way way behind them, then suddenly Entertainment Tonight is pounding on Alec Guinness' door wanting to ask him why his light sabre was a different color than Darth's. I'm sure Michelle Pfeiffer can't wait to talk about and re-live Grease 2 with reporters.

I'm afraid that now with the Godfather movies back in theaters, the re-release craze has only just begun. It's sort of Hollywood's way of saying "Look, we know we put out The Stupids, but remember back when we were capable of putting out great movies like this?"

mike@smug.com

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