April 1997 and such and such by the SMUG staff |
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Eight Rock Stars that Sound Like Ethel Merman and/or Cher
1. Eddie Vedder, Pearl Jam
2. Layne Staley, Alice in Chains
3. Scott Weiland, Stone Temple Pilots
4. Axl Rose, GunsNRoses
5. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
6. Cher
7. Stan Ridgeway
8. Ed Kowalczyk, Live
Have You Been Bad?
In the category of truly sick and beautiful, an Australian sex shop - you
know - the kind where they sell vibrators, and various latex and leather
accoutrements, had a sign that the fuzz decided would only encourage the
habitually naughty. It read: "SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE SMACKED." Local
authorities decided that would only encourage kinky patrons to steal, in
hopes of getting a free spanking. Of course, we thought this little news
item would have been funnier if they had it in a pharmacy and the cops were
afraid that it would make junkies think they'd get dosed, but that's how we
think.
Conspiracy?
The best tracks on the last two records we bought are all positioned at
track #10. On Moby's "Animal Rights" it's the home of his cover
of Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver," (a shining
tribute, but nothing beats the original) and on the Ben Folds Five
"Whatever and Ever Amen," the stellar track "Battle of Who Could Care
Less." "Battle of Who Could Care Less" is a standout musically, but its
real beauty lies in the content of the lyrics. It's the first song to
include references to both the Franklin Mint and "The Rockford Files."
"Rockford Files" is perhaps one of the most underrated TV shows from
the golden era of television, seemingly overlooked by nostalgia buffs in
favor of more cheese and beefcakey "Dukes of Hazzard" and
"CHiPS." Everyone knows Jim Rockford could have kicked Bo and Lukes
ass with or without the "General Lee," not to mention his Bond-like
casual nature about swimming in babes.
back to the junk drawer
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