April 1997
s m u g
and such and such
by the SMUG staff

Eight Rock Stars that Sound Like Ethel Merman and/or Cher

1. Eddie Vedder, Pearl Jam

2. Layne Staley, Alice in Chains

3. Scott Weiland, Stone Temple Pilots

4. Axl Rose, GunsNRoses

5. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

6. Cher

7. Stan Ridgeway

8. Ed Kowalczyk, Live

Have You Been Bad?

In the category of truly sick and beautiful, an Australian sex shop - you know - the kind where they sell vibrators, and various latex and leather accoutrements, had a sign that the fuzz decided would only encourage the habitually naughty. It read: "SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE SMACKED." Local authorities decided that would only encourage kinky patrons to steal, in hopes of getting a free spanking. Of course, we thought this little news item would have been funnier if they had it in a pharmacy and the cops were afraid that it would make junkies think they'd get dosed, but that's how we think.

Conspiracy?

The best tracks on the last two records we bought are all positioned at track #10. On Moby's "Animal Rights" it's the home of his cover of Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver," (a shining tribute, but nothing beats the original) and on the Ben Folds Five "Whatever and Ever Amen," the stellar track "Battle of Who Could Care Less." "Battle of Who Could Care Less" is a standout musically, but its real beauty lies in the content of the lyrics. It's the first song to include references to both the Franklin Mint and "The Rockford Files." "Rockford Files" is perhaps one of the most underrated TV shows from the golden era of television, seemingly overlooked by nostalgia buffs in favor of more cheese and beefcakey "Dukes of Hazzard" and "CHiPS." Everyone knows Jim Rockford could have kicked Bo and Lukes ass with or without the "General Lee," not to mention his Bond-like casual nature about swimming in babes.

staff@smug.com

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and such
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